Cohesion
“Who I can lean on and how I function in relationships with others.”
Cohesion determines how we function in relationships and who we can lean on when we need it. It is not just about how many people we have around us. What matters is whether relationships actually work — whether we can ask for help, whether we can rely on others and whether we are also capable of being a support ourselves. Cohesion therefore does not come from the number of contacts but from the quality and functionality of relationships.
It is also not just about individual relationships. Cohesion shows up in how people are connected into a wider network — family, work environment, neighbourhood or community. It is precisely this network that creates an environment in which people can help each other, pass on information and respond to changes together.
In everyday life, cohesion shows up in not having to solve things alone. We share information, consult on problems, divide up tasks. Relationships are not just an extra, they are part of how we function. Because of them, things get resolved faster, with less risk of mistakes and less pressure on any individual.
“Who I can lean on and how I function in relationships with others.”
In demanding situations cohesion matters even more. When someone comes under pressure, faces loss, uncertainty or change, the difference between facing it alone and having support is fundamental. It is not just about practical help, but also about making sense of the situation, sharing responsibility and being able to lean on someone else.
The wider circle beyond immediate family matters too. In crises the importance of neighbours, colleagues, associations or the community we live in often becomes clear. Not only close relationships but also wider connections can determine how quickly a situation is managed and how much pressure falls on any one person.
Cohesion is not automatic. It does not arise simply because people are near each other. It grows from how people function together over time — from trust, shared experience, willingness to cooperate and share. When these things are missing, relationships in a demanding situation do not function as support and can instead become an additional source of pressure.
Cohesion also fundamentally affects how we handle strain and change. A person with functional relationships who is part of a functioning environment is not facing things alone. They can share the load, gain a different perspective or get help at the moment they need it. This reduces pressure on individual performance and increases the chance of managing the situation. Conversely, a person without support must solve everything alone — decisions, responsibility and consequences. This significantly increases the difficulty of a situation even if it is not objectively more complex.
Cohesion affects everyday functioning too. Where relationships and connections work, there is less need for control, fewer misunderstandings and less wasted energy. People can pass information on, build on each other and respond to changes together. Where cohesion is missing, things get resolved more slowly, conflicts arise more often and everyone guards their own corner. This increases pressure even in ordinary situations.
What is important is that cohesion is not one-directional. It is not just about whether we have people around us, but also about how we ourselves function in relationships. Whether we can communicate, cooperate, carry part of the responsibility and sometimes be the ones who offer help, not just receive it.
Story from practice
It was a late winter evening and my younger son developed a fever that climbed close to forty within an hour. I had been considering the emergency room for a while. As these things go, sod's law. My husband was away on a work trip in Moravia and my car was in the garage with the child seat in it. I sat on the bed, child in my lap, phone to my ear, listening to instructions from the children's emergency line.
Come in, we should take a look at him, the doctor said. At that moment it hit me that I had no way to get there. I could not get a taxi with a child seat at that hour, the other child was asleep, no other adult in the flat. I thought through how to get around it, then realised I really had only two options: start calling people who live nearby, or knock on the door opposite.
Until then the neighbours and I had only ever seen each other in the corridor. Good morning, good evening, how are you. Brief talk about the weather and the lift making noise again. We had never sat down for coffee together, I only knew the surname from the door. It felt a bit awkward to go and ask for help at night from someone I did not really know.
I stood in the hallway for a moment, the child hot and limp in my arms, my daughter staring frightened from her room, wondering what was going on. In the end I took the keys and we all went across the hall. I rang the doorbell and waited. It felt like an eternity. Eventually the door opened to a sleepy neighbour in pyjamas. I am so sorry to disturb you at this hour, I blurted out. My little one is unwell, we need to go to the emergency room but I have no way to get there and no one to leave my daughter with. Would you be willing to watch her for a little while until we get back?
He did not ask many questions. Of course, give me two minutes, just let me tell my wife, he said, turned into the flat and was back shortly. His wife took my daughter into their living room, showed her the toys and put a cartoon on. We loaded the little one into their child seat and set off. On the way we had our first proper conversation — about where my husband was, how old the children were, how long we had both lived there.
When we got back it was past two in the morning. My son had been given medication, nothing life-threatening, but I was exhausted. My daughter was asleep on the neighbours’ sofa under a blanket. The neighbour's wife handed me a mug of tea and said: Next time just ring straight away — that is what we are here for.
The next day I realised two things. First, that cohesion is not just about close friends, but also about people a few metres away who you have only ever said good morning to for years. And second, that I myself had long kept relationships only at the level of politeness, without letting them reach the point where we could actually help each other.
Since then our relationship with the neighbours has changed. We occasionally take in a parcel for each other, watch the children for an hour when the other needs it, or just pass on that there will be a water outage. Today I know that if something happened, I have someone to ring and I am glad of it.